Hold My Hand Read online

  “Good girl. Flat on your back. Arms over your head,” William instructed and I moved without a thought. “Beautiful. You’ve gotten less shy with your body. This is good.”

  I watched as William removed his shirt and stood before me in his faded jeans he’d changed into when we arrived earlier. He walked to the headboard and I heard movement just before I felt the braided rope on first one wrist and then the other. He did the knots with such an ease of movement, I suspected came from years of experience with other subs. A stinging pang of jealousy hit but I closed myself off from it. I was here with William now, just me, just Aubrey. No one special.

  He walked around the bed again and I took in the sight of him. William’s body was sculpted to be powerful. The long angular muscles running along his back, his arms and across his chest screamed of strength. He unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them down his softly furred legs. He had no underwear on and when he stood again, I got my first view of him naked. I was awestruck. With his dark hair trailing down his chest and tanned skin, his masculine form was spectacular. I had to push away feelings of inadequacy as I contemplated his attraction to someone like me.

  “What was that look, little elf?” William didn’t miss the thought that crossed my face. Dammit, he didn’t miss anything.

  “I was admiring you,” I admitted the half-truth.

  “And then…” He let his sentence hang and waited.

  “And then I wondered how a man like you could be attracted to me,” I looked away when I gave him the rest of my truth.

  “We’ll work on that,” he said firmly as he folded my legs at the knee and tied my ankles to my thighs with the same soft braided rope. He stroked and kneaded my muscles. If I weren’t tied, I would’ve likely melted into the bed itself.

  “We’ll work on what?” I asked before his palm hit the side of my thigh as a reminder we’d entered a scene. “Sir. We’ll work on what, sir?”

  “Your belief in yourself, little elf. Now watch quietly until I ask you to speak.”

  “Yes sir.” I watched, fascinated by the bold color against my light skin. I felt each stroke of his hand, every tug of the rope.

  He pinched at my nipples before winding the same colored rope around my torso. He lavished them with attention each time the rope surrounded me. Everything on my body was on fire, my body pulsed with a need to be touched. I tugged on the restraints though I didn’t want to be freed. Was it instinct to fight?

  “This is for pleasure. I won’t bind you for a punishment unless you requested it. There’s no need to fight the bonds. I enjoy seeing you bound in my rope and I suspect you’ll enjoy being held in my binds.” William talked as he worked methodically creating patterns with the rope around my naked flesh, looping the soft braid from one arm to the other and across my body.

  I focused on stilling myself, not to resist him. I slowed my breathing, focusing as he’d shown me to do last week. I took stock of my body –from top to bottom– my eyes felt heavy, my head spun, my flesh warmed, my breasts firmed with turgid tips straining for more attention still, my stomach fluttered and my sex. Dear God, my sex was on fire – so hot and wet. I realized in this position, he could see how wet I was. I turned my knees to the side in an effort to limit the exposure but he only chuckled and pulled them apart again.

  He sat on his knees between my feet. I met his gaze and he smiled just before I felt his hands trail up to find my center. Without time to accustom myself to his touch, he thrust two fingers inside me. He stroked roughly in and out, grinning down at me as I struggled to remain quiet.

  “You don’t need to be quiet, little elf. On the contrary, I’d love to hear your moans. Give them to me. They belong to me, don’t you think?”

  I swallowed and averted my gaze from him, embarrassed by my wetness. His slap reminded me I hadn’t answered him. “We’re going to need more than a slap if you continue to be rude when we play.”

  He immediately had my attention at the soft threat. “Yes sir. I mean, no sir. I – I’m still learning.” I rambled, not sure how much I was allowed to say. His words lit a fire deep inside my belly. I was desperate for his touch, for William to relieve this new ache building inside me. Burning and so humiliated that this would turn me on, I closed my eyes to the truth.

  His breath was against me when he spoke softly. “Open your eyes. Don’t be embarrassed. This should feel good. Your reactions are precisely as I imagined them to be.”

  How could this be right? Allowing him to treat me this way and be turned on by it? Perhaps I am bad, perhaps it’s true. You are a bad girl, a little heathen. I shook my head to relieve my father’s voice from my thoughts. He didn’t belong in this moment. This was my chance for a new life, a chance to find a place that felt right. Submitting to William felt right. Nothing had ever felt more right.

  Breaking me away from my thoughts, William pulled his fingers from me and my eyes sprung open. His fingers were dripping with my juices. Bringing them to my lips, he turned my head and dipped them into my parted mouth. “Taste yourself, little elf, taste how much you desire me.”

  Cautious at first, I licked his fingers. My arousal glistened on his large fingers. I tasted myself mixed with him and something inside me snapped, came loose, and I lapped at the wetness, sucking on his fingers and moaning. His flavor mixed with my own was erotic. It was overwhelming and absolutely, deliciously scandalous. I couldn’t help myself as I craved more, more of this man, more of us.

  He continued this cycle several more times. His fingers dipped into me, working in and out until I was nearly breathless and then he brought his fingers to my mouth. I cleaned him greedily and moaned for more.

  “Are you ready, little elf?” William asked.

  “Yes sir,” I readily assented.

  “You’re certain?” William persists in getting my approval, his lips quirked up as if he’d found something humorous. “It’ll hurt a bit but only for a moment before, I assure you, your pleasure will take over.”

  “Please, I understand. I want this.” My head pitched from side to side as he used his thumb to stroke over that tiny protruding bud of pleasure. The sensations were too intense for me to stay still a moment longer.

  When I thought I couldn’t stand any more, William positioned his cock to my core and slid his shaft in quickly –and yet not quick enough– before pulling back out again. I felt every sinew of his muscle as it scraped against me, the pressure as he entered more fully and pulled out again. He pushed in again and then held still. I was so tight and yet my body accommodated him.

  Holding still, he leaned down to kiss my lips. “I’ll give you a minute to get accustomed to the fullness but then I plan to take you as I always will. There’s no need to be soft when neither of us will ever desire that in the future.”

  Despite his words, the gentleness he showed me in simply preparing me for what would come brought my tears out. His tongue traced my lips and I groaned as if in agony because I needed him to move. I needed to feel him but I understand it wasn’t my place to ask. I waited and was given what he wanted to give me. God help me but I also knew William was far more versed in this act than I was.

  He worked in a steady rhythm as I felt my body stretching to accommodate his wide cock. It didn’t hurt but the pressure –the feeling I might implode at any moment- was constant. I curled my pelvis towards him to increase the friction along my most sensitive spot.

  “That’s right. Reach for what you want. This time, your orgasm is free.”

  William picked up the pace and I followed in his rhythm, tilting my hips forward and squeezing my bottom. The sensations pressed in around me. I threw my head back onto the pillows behind me and arched my back. I had no idea, none whatsoever, that sex heightened all your senses. Speech was beyond me as I vocalized my growing arousal in a series of moans and grunts.

  “Keep reaching, little elf. So beautiful, so beautiful seeing you reach for what you want,” William spoke a litany of encouraging words as he relentlessly strok
ed in and out of my core.

  I continued to move, to reach for that orgasm but my frustration started to grow at not finding it. What was I doing wrong? Why couldn’t I even get this right?

  “Please,” I cried out, “Please, this is so much, so much. I d-don’t know how.” I wanted to reach that place. I wanted to find the edge and fall off the cliff so William could catch me but there was something holding me back and I couldn’t quite get there. I needed something, someone, to help me.

  “Look up at me,” William’s voice broke through my frustration. “Keep your eyes open so I can watch you take your orgasm.”

  I looked into his eyes. They were burning with liquid heat, so like melted chocolate that I wanted to drink him into me. I craved him so deep –to be a part of my soul- that I’d never be able to be free of him.

  William placed his finger onto the spot that I’d been trying to rub his cock against. “This is your magic button,” he said with a grin, “your precious little pink clit.” He pressed on it firmly, flicked his finger on it and then pressed again, repeating the motion until a tightening formed in my belly.

  “William,” I called out, unsure of the new sensation.

  “That’s it, little elf, ride that feeling. Relax and allow it to carry you along.” He talked to me while continuing his movements. His voice now tight and thick so that I could imagine I’m affecting him just as he was affecting me. In and out, he pumped. Press and flick. His breathing grew more labored. His forehead beading in sweat, William was magnificent. “Now, now, let go now.”

  It’s a command I couldn’t resist. Light burst in my head as the most immense tensing in my pelvis simply snapped and I floated into a place where everything was right with the world. My muscles clenched and unclenched. My legs shook and my breathing was erratic as I came back and worked to gain control. I saw William’s face drawn in tight and his nostrils flared as he panted through his own release. The warmth of his ejaculation filled me and kept my core sensitized to his movements.

  “Holy hell. That was incredible,” William smiled down at me, watching under hooded eyes. “I can honestly say I’ve never seen anything more beautiful.”

  I blushed, amazed that his compliment could make me blush even while I lay naked beneath him. Quietly, I watched as he eased himself out of my body and worked nimble fingers to release the ropes binding me. He massaged the muscles and I relaxed, giving myself over to him, melting under his touches as my body softened and my eyes grew heavy.

  Chapter Seven

  I soared to new heights.

  I must’ve fallen asleep because I opened my eyes to a darkened room and the feel of William above me. His lips trailed along my collarbone, his breath rushed up along the column of my neck until words formed in my ear. “This time, you will not come until I give the instruction, little elf.”

  “But…” he cut off my words with another kiss, this one more hungry than those in the past.

  “I was as gentle as I could be for your first time but now I need to claim you as mine.”

  It shouldn’t happen but his words set me on fire. My body grew hot, my nipples beaded at the thought of a claiming. What does that even mean? I didn’t care. I only knew I wanted it. I wanted to be his.

  He slipped inside me, a steady smooth press inward until his cock was firmly wedged in my channel. My inner muscles tightened, grasping and clenching at the massive intrusion. I pushed my legs out as my body instinctively began to fight him off but he locked his legs over mine and left me immobile. His body formed bonds of its own over me.

  “Quiet while I feel you. Ssh,” William hushed me.

  I focused on pleasing him by relaxing into the moment but inside, everything screamed to push against him. Being still when my body was on full alert with every nerve ending on fire was nearly impossible. I was panting, taking breaths to calm myself. I wanted to please him.

  William pushed up so that he was able to look down at me. His cock was still snug inside my core. He moved his hand between the juncture of my legs and touched my clit again. With just one stroke, I was trembling. I could sense my release very near. “Need. I need…”

  “No.” William tapped my clit, a light slap but enough to sting. It got my attention. “You will not come. What do you say to me?”

  “Yes, sir. I won’t come.”

  “Good little elf.” William pushed fully into me again and then nearly out at a leisurely pace that allowed me to relax. “Now, let’s do some work,” William’s voice was calm and I wondered how it was possible that I was nearly out of my mind and he has so much composure. “Repeat after me. I am perfect.”

  I rolled my eyes, not this again. We did this repeatedly on Tuesday. Didn’t he realize I just wanted to feel him? Didn’t he want me? I shook my head side to side and tried shifting my hips. A sting on my nipple pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked at William who was now holding a stick with a leather flap on the end.

  William lightly rubbed the leather tip along my jaw, tracing from ear to ear. He placed it to my nose. “Smell it.”

  I breathed in the rich scent of leather.

  He placed the leather against my lips. “Kiss it.”

  I followed his command and caressed the leather with my lips. It was softer than I’d expected. I wanted more time to explore it, to feel its texture, but William took it away.

  “Tell me why we’re doing this.”

  “To – To teach me not to put myself down.” I remembered this game all too well from the other day except William upped the ante with the instrument he wielded in his hand. Why had I made that comment about myself earlier? I knew he didn’t think the things I do. Why couldn’t I have kept those words inside?

  “Good. This isn’t a punishment. It’s training. Now, this is a crop,” William stroked my cheek with the instrument I wasn’t sure was my friend. “And here are the rules. You do as I say and I do this,” William paused to press his cock inside me while stroking my nipple with the soft tip of the crop. I whimpered and he stopped. “Or you choose not to do as I say and I do this,” William pulled his cock away from me and hit my other nipple with the crop. This sting caused me to arch my back but I held back the gasp.

  He grinned at me. He knew I was holding back my sounds but I wondered if he knew why. Does he know I’m still wondering about this? Does he know I feel shame? Uncertainty?

  “Let’s try again, now that I’ve explained the rules. Repeat after me. I am perfect.”

  I made the decision that I didn’t want him to strike me with the crop so I said the words without thinking. I looked directly at William’s shoulder and said, “I am perfect.”

  “Again.” I got no affirmation that I’d done it correctly. Disappointment washed through me at William withholding my reward but neither did he hit me with the crop so I sighed in relief. I could play this game. I could do this.

  I repeated his words while staring at his shoulder and mumbled the words. I’m shocked as he struck me this time. I did just what he said. I repeated the words. What more does he want? I followed the rules.

  “Look me in the eye. Repeat after me. I am perfect.”

  Damn him. I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to lie here, naked and exposed, saying these words. I sealed my lips closed and shook my head.

  William sat over me, unmoving and watching. His thick cock was still planted snuggly inside me. I shifted my hips and felt him even as I wanted to hide from him. Tears dripped from the corners of my eyes.

  As if he didn’t even notice I was crying, he said again, “Look me in the eye.”

  My body immediately responded, already a slave to him. My core grew warm again, my stomach tightened like a coil, and I looked at him. We sat, eye to eye, without another word. I pulled on the rope binding me. It seemed like hours but I knew it was mere minutes. I wanted my hands to cover myself. I hated that he was watching me cry and yet I still felt safe here with him. Shouldn’t I be afraid?

  “Would you like to use your safew
ord?” He watched me so intently that I felt his stare scolding my skin.

  “No,” the instinctive response flew past my lips. Oh God, he wanted to let me go. Now he was disappointed in me. The tears continued to fall. “Please…” I stopped, unsure what I wanted to say.

  “Ok, little elf, if you don’t want to stop, then you need to do as I say.” William’s voice allowed for no argument. “Repeat after me. And do not hide yourself from me. Keep your eyes on my eyes.”

  “Yes sir,” I managed to pass the words between my parched lips before licking them and swallowing down my courage.

  “I am perfect.” William lightly stroked my leg with his free hand -the one not holding the crop- as my muscles relaxed and he waited.

  I steeled myself to look into his eyes. My voice was weak but I managed to get the words out. “I am perfect.”

  William pushed deeper inside me and smiled. “Very good. Again.”

  “I am perfect.” I said it again even though I knew I wasn’t perfect. William bolstered my resolve with his smile, his strokes, and the deeper penetration of his cock inside me.

  He pulled out. “Again.”

  I didn’t know how many times we did this but I knew I must’ve gotten it right because I continued to receive the gentle strokes of his crop. I’d made friends with this instrument of pain that now brought me a pleasure I’d never known. I was balancing on this edge of pain and pleasure, suddenly not caring which way I fell as long as I was allowed the release.

  “I want you to admit to what I see.” William was perfectly still inside me but he used the crop to pet my nipples. Like Judas, they betrayed me. My entire body betrayed me. It screamed at me to let go and believe what he said, believe I’m perfect so he’d give me the gift I so badly craved. I wanted William to have me. I wanted to feel his release as he felt mine.

  He pulled out again and looked down at me. He said nothing, just watched me. It was unnerving. I bit my lower lip. The dual feelings –these crazy emotions- were fooling with me. I was completely overwhelmed but I wanted so much to be enough for him.