Hold My Hand Page 6

He took my head in his strong hands and lowered it closer to him. I was trapped as he slid his cock into my mouth. He was thick and smooth but steel hard below the soft skin. Such a contradiction between my lips, I wanted to learn every feel. I licked around the velvety tip and tasted a salty tang before running my tongue along the rigid contours of his shaft. Then he pushed in further and I could do nothing but allow him the space he needed.

  I was taken by surprise by the warmth I felt between my own legs. I wanted to touch myself –a desire I’ve never before felt- and closed my eyes to the thought as I worked to push away the feeling. I moaned around his shaft as it continued moving in and out of my mouth.

  “Open your eyes, little elf.” William paused for my compliance. “Now, I’m going to do all the work. Leave your lips parted and keep your gaze on me.”

  I couldn’t speak but I did as instructed. My mouth was wet and ready to take him. I wanted to please him and I recognized there was power in this. He was giving me the power to please him. Never before had I held such power. I silently wondered if I was glowing with this new experience. The sensations were causing a warm feeling to burn inside me. I may have been afraid if not for his control, for his guidance. I had nothing to worry about since William was teaching me.

  “You are doing very well. It’s right that we should start as we mean to continue.”

  I watched as he stared down at me, observing his thick shaft move in and out of my mouth. I dared not look away. I was pinned before him. I took in every stroke, the texture of his smooth skin over his steel-hard rod. I marveled at my lips straining to remain open and was lost in William. His touch, his scent and his voice embraced me.

  “You will swallow everything I give you. And once you’ve cleaned me, you’ll thank me.” In this moment, held by the intensity in his cocoa-rich brown eyes, he once again ensnared me. I shivered at his words as his voice slid down my spine. A brief rush of panic filled my senses when I contemplated following his instructions. Will I like it? Can I do what he’s asked?

  “You can do this. I see the panic in your eyes but don’t fear this. I want you to simply accept and embrace it.” William massaged his fingers in my hair even as he continued to hold my head in place. The heat between my legs grew stronger at his affirmation.

  I nodded – it’s all I could do. William pumped in and out, long thrusts that cause his cock to brush against the back of my throat each time. I was close to being overwhelmed but the desire within me gave me strength. I felt powerful. With one final thrust, the first jets of semen hit my tongue. It was warm, salty and not entirely tasty but none of that mattered when I considered what I’d just done. I held William in my mouth. What a heady thought.

  I swallowed as his essence filled me, swallowing and pulling from him to fill myself on everything he had to offer. I was so hungry for him, my desire to show him how much I wanted him so strong that I forgot myself. I tasted the salty cream on my tongue and dripping down my throat with the final pulses of his release. I shivered at the knowledge that William had just very much become a part of me. He was inside me.

  “Good, little elf. Well done.” William’s words lit my world.

  He had so suddenly become my center, my moon around which I now orbit. Though there’s that tiny part of me that wondered if my desire for this submission might be wrong, I couldn’t deny the attraction –the compulsion to go to him- than I could resist taking my next breath. It was all William. He alone has created this desire within me and I craved more still. I said a silent prayer we weren’t done. Still on my knees, I beamed up at him. I was ready for my next lesson.

  William took me to his bedroom then. It was large like the rest of his home, fashioned in warm, rich tones of browns. The bed I spent last night sleeping in sat below a stained glass window that was sure to cast a beautiful rainbow of light during the daytime.

  I was quiet, still unsure of myself. I sought out his hand, needing William’s guidance. He tugged me to the bathroom door across the room and turned on the light. “Take care of your needs, place your clothing in the hamper and then come join me in bed.”

  “What will I wear to bed?”

  “Nothing. You’ll sleep in nothing while in my bed. And I plan to have you in my bed as often as possible.”

  Ducking my head and moving into the bathroom, I smiled at his words. He hadn’t said it but I felt loved.

  Chapter Five

  I laid myself before him.

  Content as a cat in the afternoon sun, I curled myself up on the couch in William’s study while he took care of work on Saturday. After joining him in his bed the night before, we did nothing more than sleep. William curled his body against my back and held me, my cheek on his arm wrapped securely around me. It was warm and the feeling of safety engulfed me until I floated to sleep on a cloud of bliss. Never had I felt such happiness.

  “Come here, little elf,” William called to me from where he sat at his desk. I immediately unfolded myself and walked to him. “I’ve arranged an appointment for you with my personal physician’s assistant. I thought you’d be more comfortable with a woman.”

  “Why do I need a doctor?” The hairs on the back of my neck rise with the quickening of my heart rate.

  “You remember we talked about having a physical to determine your health and,” he paused, almost sheepishly, “she’ll get you on birth control. I don’t want anything between us when I take you for the first time.”

  “Take me?”

  “Yes.” William chuckled and pulled me between his legs before whispering in his husky voice, “When I put my cock into that tight, little sheath of yours, I want to feel every muscle clenching, every fiber of your pussy.”

  William’s words caused that burning heat again between my legs, a heat he has yet to extinguish. I didn’t know how to ask and he didn’t seem inclined to touch me there. Perhaps he’ll wait for that until after my physical. Please, God, let the physical be soon.

  “Wh - when is my appointment?”

  I was standing between his legs, with only one of his large shirts to cover my nudity. I was completely opened to him just as he instructed. William stroked up my thighs with both hands and nudged the shirt. In surprise, I took a step back and received a quick slap to my leg.

  “Do not move away from me. Stand still while I touch you.”

  “Yes sir,” I said the words as I already started moving back to him to comply with his command. His voice already caused the need inside me to burn brighter between my legs. What was it about how he talked to me, the command in his voice?

  “The doctor can see you on Tuesday. You don’t work Tuesdays so it’ll fit in just fine. And then we’ll have lunch.” William set our plans out. He didn’t ask and I didn’t question. I simply smiled to know he cared so much for me.

  William’s hands stroked along the cheeks of my ass. His fingers dipped into the valley between and I locked my knees to keep from pulling away. He stroked forward with one finger. I could feel the wetness spread along my folds as he moved his finger back and forth, and I bit my lip to hold the moan that tried to escape unbidden.

  “You are wet. What ever should I do about that?”

  I tried to shrug. I’m ashamed to be caught so wet, so turned on by nothing more than his words. My cheeks flamed red as I continued looking down. My eyes were closed, squeezed tightly. I couldn’t bring myself to watch as William continued to inspect the valleys of my buttocks and the sensuous cleft between my legs.

  A quick slap to my bottom startled my eyes open. “That’s better,” William smiled at me as I looked directly at him. “Keep your eyes open and on me. And I asked a question that has yet to be answered.”

  “A question?” I asked.

  “You weren’t listening to me?”

  “I – I was distracted,” I found it hard to pull the words from my throat as William continued to move his fingers up and down along my folds.

  “I wondered what I should do about this wetness I can feel,” Wil
liam reminded me what he’d asked earlier and I blushed. I didn’t want to talk about this. I’m embarrassed so I just continued to watch him and prayed he’d let this go.

  Another slap and a raised eyebrow was all I needed as reminder for my manners. He had no plans to let me out of responding. “Whatever you want, sir,” I replied quietly.

  “Good girl,” William smiled and nodded, “I think for now, we’ll have a chat. How about that?”

  “Yes sir. I’d like that.” I’d enjoyed our quiet morning, my reading while William worked on his tablet but I was definitely now in need of some attention. I moved to pull away but he didn’t release me.

  “You misunderstand, little elf. I want to talk to you right here, just as we are now.” For emphasis, William pressed his finger inside me and my hips pressed forward. This earns me a smile though I’m embarrassed by my body’s instinctive response.

  He chuckled and leaned forward to place soft, wet kisses on my stomach where he now parted his shirt. His breath was warm against me; his tongue followed the path of the kisses down to my belly button and swirled inside before trailing lower. I shivered at the intimacy, knowing I couldn’t pull away and honestly, no longer sure I’d want to if I could.

  Sitting back up, William pierced me with his gaze. “You may have limits we’ve not discussed. Here now is your chance. I need to know of any definitive limits you might’ve thought of overnight.”

  “Yes sir.”

  “For this conversation, you’re free to ask questions. Do you understand?”

  “Yes sir.”

  “Good. Now I’d enjoy restraining you with rope. Would you like that?”

  I swallowed and averted my gaze from him. Immediately his palm came down on my bottom and the burning between my legs grew. I couldn’t believe I was so turned on. I felt ashamed. How could he desire me when I was clearly a deviant?

  “Aubrey, don’t shy away from me. No hiding. We’ve already agreed we share similar needs and can provide for one another. There’s no need for embarrassment,” William assured me. Yet I was still not feeling so assured.

  “Yes sir.”

  “Restraints? Rope?” William reminded me what we were discussing. I nodded my head and received another slap to my bottom.

  “Oh God,” I cried out. This slap was harder than the other slaps he’d given me before and I took a few minutes to regulate my breaths and open my eyes.

  “I’ll continue to make them harsher as you continue to be disagreeable. Now, we’re having a nice conversation. You’re to answer my questions without me repeating. Understand?”

  “Yes sir. Rope is fine,” I replied. While I wished I could say more, I bit on my lower lip and chewed with my teeth.

  “What are you thinking?”

  “Um… I was remembering the images of chains from the internet,” I managed to squeak out. His grin reassured me he’s not upset.

  “I don’t like chains. I’ve told you before. I prefer softer fibers and fabrics. No leather for you. No chains or shackles. Likely no metal at all.” As he finished, he stroked my cheek, “Sweet, sweet Aubrey. That was brave of you to tell me so honestly what you were thinking.”

  “Thank you, sir,” I returned his smile and some of my anxiety melted away at his encouragement. I’d never felt as cherished as I had in the short time I’d been with William.

  “Confined places? Would it scare you to be enclosed somewhere?”

  “Enclosed, sir?” I was certain the fear in my face was apparent. Did I need to state the obvious?

  “There may be times when I would choose to use one for discipline.”

  “And I would be locked away?”

  “Not for long periods of time. Typically, it would be enough time for you to clear your head, to focus. And I would never leave you unattended.”

  I swallowed down my fear. There was a piece of me intrigued by this. “Yes sir. I’d be okay with that, as long as you were near.”

  “Aubrey, you are pleasing me with your bravery,” William’s affirmation had me melting. He tucked his hands around my buttocks again and his long fingers reached the heat between my legs.

  “We already know that I’ll take you in your mouth.” William thrust a finger into my pussy. “And I’ll take your pussy.” He thrust again. “But we haven’t discussed your ass.” He thrust again into my pussy with his finger and lightly taps my anus. “Would this be okay with you, sweet Aubrey?”

  William stroked firmly along the outer folds of my pussy. I was growing wetter and could now hear the sound of his finger as it slid through my cream. When he touched the entrance to my anus, a feeling of desperation rolled through me at the new sensation. I moaned because now I needed a firmer stroke. I felt this rush just out of my touch that I was trying to reach for.

  I had to look away. Another slap brought me back and I cried out as my eyes found William again. The determined look he gave me burned inside my belly. I was tumbling towards something but I couldn’t understand all these new sensations.

  I licked my lips. “William, please,” I said. I didn’t even know what I was asking for.

  “Yes, sweet Aubrey, yes. I wish to own each part of you. I wish for you to be completely mine.” William spoke to me but my focus was divided now. My body consumed by his ministrations. I felt the building of a tension and knew I could snap at any minute. I wanted that release so badly and I found myself moving against his finger.

  “Say yes to this,” William’s words washed through me. “Say yes so I can let you come apart on my fingers.” It took only those words to let go of my humiliation that this would turn me on. Perhaps I was bad but in that moment, I couldn’t bring myself to care. I only wanted to come.

  “Yes sir,” I said.

  And then, came I did, like waves shattering over the shore, one after the other. William continued to run his fingers in and out, back and forth, in and out until I nearly begged him to stop. My knees had grown weak and I leaned forward to brace myself on his shoulders.

  William reached towards my face and pulled his hand away to show me the tear on his finger. I’d been crying. I didn’t know. He held his finger up in the light so the tear caught beautiful colors and he smiled. “Thank you for this. It’s a gift I will treasure.” He placed the finger in his mouth and sucked.

  *****

  On Sunday morning, I left William to attend mass. He dropped me off and planned to spend the few hours I needed for my weekly ritual at his office before coming back for me. We talked in great lengths yesterday about everything from politics to religion. I was surprised to hear he’d been raised Catholic just as I had been though he admitted to not having attended mass in more years than he was willing to dwell on though. I couldn’t imagine a life where I didn’t go to church. That time each week was sacred to me.

  As I entered the church, I kept my head bowed so others wouldn’t attempt to interact with me. I found a pew in the far corner, drew the kneeler down and bowed before beginning my prayers. Though I recited the prayers I’d memorized since just a young child, I couldn’t actually recall what I was saying. I was lost in worry, my thoughts flying across the new adventure on which I’ve started.

  I felt led toward William by some force I couldn’t explain. Would it be wrong to thank God for him? I’d found happiness in a most unlikely place, in this Dominance and submission William introduced me to. I recognized what William has asked of me might not be what some would profess as following the church’s teachings and yet at the same time, I wanted to argue the point.

  The organist began her musical prelude and the familiar melody of Pachelbel’s cannon swept me away. Each chord loosened the tension in my shoulders and I take refreshing deep breaths. Oh William, how do I reconcile what I’ve discovered about myself through you? I’ve taken enough religion classes during my schooling to quote the bible and defend the very idea of being taken in hand and cared for -being dominated- by a man. Yet the emotional pull was beyond reason. I simply wanted this.

 
; I breathed in the aroma of burning incense, the familiar scent of candle wax and the smell of the old wooden pew I sat on. The familiarity comforted me and I found myself relaxing further still. Perhaps my reservations about this new relationship weren’t with my religious beliefs but I wondered why then I was struggling with these feelings of shame. Why was I wondering if what I desired was wrong?

  I was no closer to solving my problem as the priest processed in and took the altar to begin mass. I focused on the formality of the mass, feeling safe within its structure as I allowed everything else to fade away.

  *****

  I expected to return to William’s house but instead, he drove through the city in the direction of Emerson College where I’d spent four years earning my bachelor’s degree in literature before pursuing a master’s degree from Boston College. I wondered what we were doing but chose not to ask. I sat and waited for William to unveil his plan. I was content to be patient.

  Sometime during the drive, William reached across to hold my hand. The connection instantly warmed me. I hadn’t been away from him for long but I’d missed him. What would it be like once I returned to my apartment tonight? I quickly pushed the thought aside.

  “You enjoyed mass?” William asked.

  “Yes. I need the reflection time. I can’t imagine not having it,” I explained, smiling.

  “Perhaps in the future, I’ll accompany you.”

  “Really? You would want to come to mass with me?” I’m shocked by his offer and failed to hide the surprise.

  William chuckled. “I only wish I could see inside that mind of yours to see what you must think of me. I do believe in God, you know.”

  “I – It’s just,” I bit my tongue. Why have I begun this thought aloud?

  “Go on,” William encouraged.

  “It’s just that you’re so in control of everything. A belief in God requires a part of you to allow Him control.” I watched him as I explained but his expression remained unchanged.

  “I believe it was He who brought you to me.” William’s words hit me hard. I wanted to dissect his statement but instead I remained quiet. I had no response equal to his declaration.